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Season 1
MAX: Yeah. All the stuff you said...about me, about Liz. I've been keeping all this stuff inside...not confronting the horrible, ugly truth of it all. I've been hiding for years, Kyle. Years. But it's time the real Max comes out.
KYLE: He wouldn't be gay, by any chance, would he?
~Blind date

MAX: We're gonna win her back.
KYLE: We are?
MAX: We're gonna show her how we feel about her and she's gonna forget all about Mr. Shallow and come back to us.
KYLE: Shellow.
MAX: Come on.
KYLE: Well, how do we split her up, exactly? Every other week? Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, alternate Saturdays?
~Blind Date

MICHAEL: So you get your final assignment evaluated?
MARIA: Yeah.
MICHAEL: How'd you do?
MARIA: I flunked, as predicted.
MARIA: Yeah. I guess I can, uh, safely rule out any career paths involving wood.
MICHAEL: Didn't you get my thing?
MARIA: Yeah, I got it.
MICHAEL: Well, that's ridiculous. I worked my ass off on that thing. It was beautifully crafted. It was spring activated to secure the napkins. It redefined the term napkin holder.
MARIA: Yeah, I know, it did.
MICHAEL: Well, how could he have flunked you? I mean...Wh--
MARIA: Because I, um, I...I didn't use yours. I kept it. Thank you.
~Toy House

MICHAEL: I just figured, go for it, you know? I don't know what I was thinkin'.
MAX: You know, I just thought we had guidelines about this. We agreed to discuss before we acted on know, urges.
MICHAEL: Well, I hate to tell you this, Max, but when i have urges, you're not exactly the first person I think about.
MAX: Yeah, I realize that. But the point is, we can't let things spin out of control. I mean, sure, it starts as a kiss...
MICHAEL: It's more than that.
MAX: How much more?
MICHAEL: I don't know, Max. It feels so wrong, but it feels so good.
~Heat Wave

MARIA: Yeah. I'd say so. I really didn't care about the stupid flashes. I just wanted us to be close.
MICHAEL: Thanks.
~Sexual Healing

MARIA: You can't just make up answers.
MICHAEL: Who said I'm making 'em up?
MARIA: You do not watch "The View".
MICHAEL: Keeps me in touch with my feminine side.
~285 South

MARIA: This is the second time you've dragged me to some cheap motel.
MICHAEL: Yeah, well, don't spread it around. You'll ruin my reputation.
~Blood Brothers

MICHAEL: We kind of broke up.
MAX: What? Why didn't you tell me?
MICHAEL: Look, I don't...I'm not sure if we did or didn't. I mean, it's confusing.
LIZ: Cherry cola. On the house.
MARIA: Yours is $1.25.
MICHAEL: Guess it's not really confusing anymore, is it?
~The Balance

MICHAEL: This is for you.
MARIA: Shampoo.
MICHAEL: Shampoo AND conditioner in one.
MARIA: It's a real timesaver.

Max: I think that's what being in love is."
Liz: Yeah I think so too.

Max: "Are you scared?"
Liz: "I know I should be , but I'm just gonna put myself in you're hands." Sexual Healing

Maria: "You're kidnapping me, no wait You're Abducting Me!" (to Michael) 285 South

Michael: "Maybe I care about you too much" (to Maria)

Isabel: "You really do want to protect me, don't you?"
Alex: "I would do anything" Crazy

MICHAEL: Listen, are a sensitive guy. And you have available to you one of the top 3 seduction lines in history...with "it's gonna help me find my home planet". And you're refusing to use it. No guy is that sensitive. Use it.
from Sexual Healing.

Lady Lioness

"Mud, I'm thinking about mud."
"Why do I bother?"
~The Convention, Michael & Maria

~Crazy, Michael & Maria

"It's cheating. You can't just wave your hand over a problem and make it go away. Why don't you figure out what's really going on with you, Michael...why you can't just piece together an apology like any normal human
being. Oops. Maybe that's the problem."
~Toy House, Maria

"MICHAEL: I'm borrowing your car. Now get out.

MARIA: You're telling me to get out? This is my car. Actually, it's my mother's car, and if anything happens to it, life as I know it will be over. So, wherever it goes, i go.

MICHAEL: Fine. You had your chance.

MARIA: Oh, my God. You're kidnapping me. No, wait, you're abducting me!"
~285 South
"MICHAEL: Because there's gotta be something better out there for me than Roswell, New Mexico.

MICHAEL: You think that's funny.

MARIA: No, no. It's just, um...when i was a kid, I used to stay up at night and, um, make up stories about my know, and who he was and...what he was doing. And they all ended exactly the same way. He would come in a limo and pick me and my mom up and take us off to some exotic place where we'd live like royalty. Because, you know...I thought to
myself...there's got to be something better out there for me than Roswell, New Mexico.

MICHAEL: Substitute a spaceship for a limo, and you know what i mean."
~285 South

"KYLE: Hey, I'm just happy to be nominated...and I think I'm gonna puke. "
~Blind Date

"MARIA: What are you doing out there? No, you can't come in. No. I know why you're here. All right, I know what your plan is, I know what you want, but it's not gonna work this time, mister, ok, no matter what you say. My answer is no. No, no, no, no, no.

(Maria has let Michael come in and he is dripping wet and shivering)

MARIA: God, you could get pneumonia. Here, take your shirt off. Hold on. You're shivering.

(Maria wipes away a tear from Michael's cheeks) MARIA: Come here. Shh, it's ok. You don't have to tell me, it's ok. "
~The BEST M&M scene, Independence Day

"TOPOLSKY: Why don't you start by telling me what your dream job would be.

LIZ'S FRIEND (from geometry): I want to be Brad Pitt's love slave.

KYLE: Uh, Houston Astro's left field.

STONER GUY: Lead guitar for Metallica.

ALEX: That's an interesting question. Uh, do you always ask it first?

ISABEL: Supermodel.

MARIA: Like I have any skills.

LIZ: Molecular biologist. Or a dream, dream, dream job would be head of molecular biology research at Harvard.

TOPOLSKY: That's fantastic. Now what job do you think you'll actually have in ten years?

LIZ'S FRIEND: Cheese factory, I guess.
KYLE: Houston Astro's left field

ISABEL: I usually get what I want.

ALEX: Excellent follow-up question. Very good technique.

MARIA: Oh, we could all be dead in ten years.

STONER: Video store. No, wait. Well, Cheese factory.

LIZ: Molecular biologist.

TOPOLSKY: OK, let's play a relationship game. Tell me which character in this picture is most like you, and tell me what they're doing at the park.

KYLE: King of the jungle gym

ISABEL: I never really played well with others.

ALEX: The kid holding the umbrella for the other kids. Which one are you?

MARIA: Can this get any more lame?

MAX: Probably the one behind the tree. (TOPOLSKY pauses and looks at him.) I was sort of kidding.
~The Hilarious Scene in "Monsters"

"MICHAEL: What do you want me to do?

MARIA: I don't know.

MICHAEL: Shut up, then!

MARIA: I...I hate you!


MARIA: You know, all I ask of you is just to try to make me feel better, you know, be a guy or whatever. Forget it. I have obviously tried to bark up the wrong tree.

(Michael kisses Maria)

MICHAEL: That was to calm you down.

MARIA: Thanks."
~The Beginning of it All, River Dog

"MICHAEL: It has gotten complicated. Suddenly, she wants to know where I'm going after school. She wants to have conversations. She wants to talk about my feelings. And now, she wants to go to a party together.
MAX: That thing at the old soap factory?

MICHAEL: Right. Like suddenly the eraser room's not enough. I can't let this become a public thing. I mean, she should know that. But all week long I've had this weird feeling. Like I was gonna hurt her or something. That just being who I am is gonna hurt her."
~Heat Wave
"LIZ: Hey, what's up? I'm just trying to get these stupid slugs to mate. Ah, come on! Won't you guys just do it?

MAX: Maybe one of 'em's gay."
~Heat Wave

"MICHAEL: Just get out of here.

MARIA: What are you talking about?

MICHAEL: It's not safe.

MARIA: It's never been safe. What difference does it make now?

MICHAEL: No, I'm not safe. All right, I mean, I can do these things that I can't control. Look at what I did to Pierce. I'm not going to take that chance with you. I don't want you to be around for what's going to happen.

MARIA: Wait. Don't do this to me Michael, please. You need me now, more than you have before, alright?

MICHAEL: No, I don't need anyone.

MARIA: Well, maybe I do. Did you ever think of that? I mean, look at Max and Liz. They can't bear to be separated. But you, you can just throw me away. Just like that. Why is that, Michael? Why?

MICHAEL: Maybe because I love you too much. Goodbye."
~The SADDEST M&M scene, Destiny

"it revilutionised the turn napkin holder "
micheal toy house ? (not sure )

"frikin eddie"
max river dog

"Whatever you do you know I've got your back, right?"
~ Maria- Crazy

kristy idream313@AOL.COM
blind date:
LIZ: Max! Max, please.
We have to stop.
Please, we have to stop.

MAX: Let's just keep running,
you and me, away
from here, away from everything. I see
everything so
clearly now. We'll go someplace
where no one knows us. As long as we're

together, nothing else matters.

Josephine (
Thanks for giving me another reason to envy Max Evens
- Michael (Missing)

Liz: No...Max... he's so not possible. He's just like this whole different...
Maria: Life form?
Liz: Type!
(Leaving normal)

MICHAEL: Yeah, I'm sorry about that...but I kinda just really want to draw.
TEACHER: You kinda just really want to draw?

MAX: Missing?
LIZ: Not missing.
MAX: Not missing?
LIZ: No, it's misplaced.
MAX: Misplaced?
LIZ: Temporarily misplaced.
MAX: Right...
LIZ: Yeah....
MAX: Ok...
(Missing.. of course)

Last one:
TEACHER: Well, when the class drew fruit, you drew this. When the class sketched the human form, you drew this again. You're a talented artist, Mr. Guerin. But you can't go through the semester drawing only a geodesic dome.

(Michael draws a stick figure)

TEACHER: Stick with the dome.

And I love Liz' always classic 'thank you's

Max:"What's so great about normal?"
-Blind Date
(1)"But you mean everything to me."
Max to Liz in Destiny

(2) "You are who you choose to be. Just like, you're with who YOU choose to be with."
Liz to Max in 4Square

(3) "I prefer the term 'not of this earth'".
Max to Liz in Pilot

(4) "Knowing you has made me...human."
Max to Liz in Destiny

(5) "Whether I die tomorrow or 50 years from now, my destiny is the same. It's you, Liz. I want you. I love you."
Max to Liz in Destiny

Cara -

MAX: "'s gonna be OK."

Jennifer:"Oh my god!!"

MICHAEL: "Hey, get back!!"

MAX: "Liz, LIZ! You have to look at me. You have to look at me."

[Liz weakly looks at him, and he puts his hand over the bullet wound, we see images of Liz as a child, Max sighs and when he takes his hand away, the wound is healed]

MAX: "You're all right now. You're all right."

MICHAEL: "Keys! Now!!"

[Max throws him the keys and breaks a ketchup bottle and pours the ketchup over her]

MAX: "You broke a bottle when you fell, spilled ketchup on yourself. Don't say anything please."

~The Pilot
MAX: "Freeing?"

LIZ: "Um, well just with me, you know, my parents own the Crashdown, so everyone in town knows who I am. Like, if I so much as get a haircut, everyone seems to notice, and they have to give me their opinion on it. It kind of makes life claustrophobic. It's like, you know, how am I ever supposed to become whoever it is that I'm gonna become while everyone is looking? You know? Sometimes I wish I could just be invisible."

MAX: "Sometimes I wish I didn't have to be so invisible"
~The Morning After

LIZ: "Okay. Max, is everything okay?"

MAX: "Yeah, yeah I just wanted to say hi. Uh. Just, uh, stepping out from behind the tree."

LIZ: "What tree?"

MAX: "Oh, forget it. It's...."
Liz: "The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention. That sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as it is alluring. And thats not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when u follow ur heart, u leave normal, go into the unknown, and once u do, u can neva go back."
~Leaving Normal

LIZ: "It's funny how the world changes sometimes, how the streets you walked your entire life seem darker, colder. How the silence isn't so quiet anymore. How eyes you've barely even noticed now look at nothing but you. How the walk home every night is no longer a routine, but a victory. And then you begin to wonder...maybe it's not the world that's changed. Maybe it's just you"

LIZ: "Yeah, I've known that for a really long time. I'm sorry, too, Max. You know, for Kyle my stupid, boring life could possibly get you guys into trouble."

MAX: "First of all, nothing about you is stupid. And feels life didn't even start until I told you the truth that day."

LIZ: "Yeah. I know what you mean. Max..."

MAX: "Yeah?"

LIZ: "Umm...I know that we agreed, you know, not...not to feel a certain way about each other."

MAX: "Yeah."
LIZ: "Do you still think that's a good idea?"

(Max reaches towards Liz's face but instead patches a hole in the jeep's canvas top)

MAX: "Just wanted to keep you warm."

~285 South

MAX: "Hey. First moment anything weird happens, anything at all, you come back."

LIZ: "I promise."
~River Dog

VOICEOVER: "Have you ever had a moment when you're with the one person in the world you want to be with and the wind is blowing through your hair and the song that justdescribes your entire soul happens to come on, and then the person that you want to be with happens to love the same song and suddenly you realize you're listening to it together? And that no matter how crazy your life has gotten there's this one moment...this perfect moment...where you could just say that no matter what happens, nothing can take this moment away from me..."

(A horse appears in the road ahead)
VOICEOVER: "And then, something does."

~Blood Brothers

MAX: "Liz, I think that what I'm afraid of isn't that we try this and it works out really badly. What I'm afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I'm afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it's not meant to be. And somewhere down the line, we're gonna get hurt. I can live with that. I just couldn't bear to hurt you."

LIZ: "But that's not your decision, is it?"

MAX: "I guess not."
~Heat Wave

LIZ: Ok, this is my favorite part. It says, "this is the best night of your life."

MAX: "Is that really what it says?"

LIZ: "Well, it's better than "a broken clock is still right twice a day."

MAX: "You're right. I like yours better."

LIZ: "Ok, let me see yours."

MAX: "Ask a girl to dance with you."
LIZ: "Is that really what it says?"

MAX: "It depends on your answer."

LIZ: "Yes."

MAX: "Then that's really what it says."

LIZ: "Ok."
~The Balance

LIZ: "What's up?"

MAX: "Nothing. How's it going?"

LIZ: "Fine. Are you all right?"

MAX: "Yeah. Yeah."

MAX: "I just...I want you to know that it's ok. I don't have to feel uncomfortable if you and Kyle
get back together."

LIZ: "What?"
MAX: "I saw you two together at the Crashdown yesterday."

LIZ: "Ok, um...Max, first of all, that couldn't be further from what's happening, and secondly...if it was happening, I wouldn't need your permission, Max."

MAX: "I'm getting out of here. Now you sound like Isabel."

LIZ: "Why do I sound like Isabel, Max?"

MAX: "She's got this thing all of a sudden that I'm controlling."

LIZ: "Oh, so it's HER thing."

MAX: "What?"

LIZ: "Max, just take a psych class, because you ARE controlling."

MAX: "Hey, I am who I am. I've got a lot going on, and I'm trying to make things work."

LIZ: "Max, you know what your problem is? You put everything on yourself...on your own shoulders. Maybe you should have some faith in the people around you."

~The Toy House
MARIA: "See what I'm saying? These Czechoslovakians have way too weird of an effect on us. And if you don't stay away from them, Liz, I'm gonna be picking up the pieces of your heart for the rest of your life."

LIZ: "No, you're not, because I am staying away from him, Maria. Max and I haven't even talked to each other for days."

MARIA: "Really?"

LIZ: "Yes."

MARIA: "Then why has he been staring at you since he came in?"

LIZ: "He has?"

MARIA: "Am I gonna have to do an intervention with you? Liz, make him think that you are over him, that your life is so exciting. Lie if you have to. It's for your own good."

MAX: "Hey."

LIZ: "Hey."

MAX: "Um, thanks. Haven't seen you in a couple of days."

LIZ: "I...uh, it's been kind of busy."
MARIA: "She means she's been kind of busy. Actually, we've both been kind of busy."

MICHAEL: "Yeah, I can see that."

MARIA: "You know, getting ready for the big weekend and all."

MAX: "You have a big weekend?"

MARIA: "Dates. We have dates. With men."


MARIA: "These college guys that we met during winter break and, um, they're taking us out for expensive dinner."

MAX: "Great. Well, have a good time."
~Into The Woods
MAX: "Michael, I've got to talk to you about something...personal."

MICHAEL: "Nothing's too personal."

MAX: "How'd you do it with Maria?"

MICHAEL: "Too personal."

MAX: "No, I did you stop? I can't stop thinking about Liz. Everytime I see her, she just starts going into slow motion."

MICHAEL: "Maxwell, you've gotta be strong. You can't let yourself be led around by source."
~The UFO Convention

LIZ: "What are you doing here, Max?"

MAX: "I couldn't just let you find another guy. I love you, Liz. I'll always love you."
~Blind Date

MAX: "Liz, I'm sorry. I..."

LIZ: "No. It's ok."

MAX: "I know we've been needing to talk."

LIZ: "Yeah, there's...there's some more important things to talk about though, and...I heard about Michael. Are you ok?"

MAX: "Not really. I've just never seen him so upset. I have this weird feeling that...he's just gonna leave without even saying goodbye."

LIZ: "You know, maybe, because if he did...he wouldn't be able to go through with it."
~Indepencence Day

LIZ: "Ok. Fine. If you know so much, then tell me, Max...what's my destiny?"

Max: "I only know the part i'm hopin for"
~Sexual Healing
Liz: "Yeah, but you still kissed her, Max. I don't know if there will ever be reason enough to explain that"
~Four Square

MAX: "Where's Liz?"

NASEDO: "Pierce doesn't care about her; he only wants me."

MAX: "He wants her, too. He wants all of us. I'm not leaving without her."

NASEDO: "I won't let him take you."

LIZ: "Max!"

MAX: "Liz. (A glass wall separates them.) Get out of here."

LIZ: "Not without you. Max! Behind you!"
~Max To The Max

MAX: "Ok, stop it! Stop! I'll tell you where it is, just don't hurt Liz."

PIERCE: "Huh. You do have feelings. Just like us. Whatever you are, you better tell me the truth for Liz's sake."
~The White Room
MAX: "No. (To Liz.) Look, everything I told you before is still true."

LIZ: "Max, you do have a destiny. You just heard it. I can't stand in the way of it.""

MAX: "But you mean everything to me."
(They kiss.)

LIZ: "Goodbye, Max."

(She leaves.)

MAX: "Liz. (Outside.) Liz. Liz, wait." (She turns to look at him, then runs off.)

MICHAEL: (Restraining him.) "You gotta let her go."

Kyle: How far did you and Liz

Max: We saw into each other souls. How about

Kyle: Second base.

Max: Well, we can't win them all.

"Blind Date"

Season 2

Alex:...And do you know what it's like to walk around all day w/ a thong up your ass?

Liz: "Why can't you come with me?"
Max: "Because I can't, but I'll be watching you Liz Parker wherever you go, and I'll be right here when you get back."
"Liz can do it" Ava from Max in the City

"He's Max he'll always know" Kyle from Wipeout

"You want me to kill em for u?" Rath
"I'll get back to you on that" Michael from Meet the Dupes

"Forgive me Budda , but I'm gonna kick you're ass" Kyle from WipeOut

" you're still a virgin right" Maria
"oh yeah" Liz <High Five> from Max in the City

"I just keep looking for some kind of change" Liz
"you mean.." Max <puts bunny ears behind Liz' head> from Max in the City

Kyle:"Well What about me?"
Max: (while looking between Kyle and Liz) "You're not someone I trust."

Nickalos to Michael) " ....and nice hair, hope you win"

Liz: "I cant leave it like this."
Maria:"Excuse me?"
Liz:"Max, no i walked out without explaining to him what happened between me and you (to Kyle)"
Liz:"I didnt even say goodbye"
Kyle: "Look You've got a job to do and Max has got a job to do , when everybody's done with their job you can make nice"
Liz:"He'll never know"
Kyle:'He's Max , he'll always know." (then Liz disappears)

Maria:"I don't wanna die like Elvis"